In Memory of Audra Benge
Beloved member of the Goddard Lion Pride Color Guard

March 7, 1990 - March 4, 2008

When Audra Benge was born in 1990, her parents could not have envisioned the life in store for her over the next 17, almost 18 years. They could not have imagined Audra being diagnosed with Leukemia when she was 2 ½ years old, entering a world of hospitals, doctors, tests, chemotherapy, needles and pain. They could not have foreseen the fight and the struggle associated with their ‘baby girl’ over the course of time against this disease that shows no mercy and strikes indiscriminately. And finally, they could not have known how Audra would become an incredible source of pride and the personification of determination.

Audra's journey began when she contracted Leukemia when she was 2 ½ years old and underwent 2 ½ years of treatment. After starting kindergarten in 1995, the Leukemia returned, resulting in a bone marrow transplant in 1996, donated by her then 10 year old brother, Jason. During this episode, she spent 4 months in the hospital, defying doctor’s fears that she would not survive. She not only survived, but recovered well, and entered what became known as ‘the healing years’.

Audra loved to dance!

She started dance classes at the age of 7. She performed in duets, group, and solo competition. Her mother recalls how one time, at the start of a solo performance, her belt broke on her outfit and it went flying across the stage. For a girl that’s already faced a lifetime of adversity, this was nothing, and she continued performing without missing a beat as if nothing had gone wrong. It was another moment in time that her mother witnessed the determination of her daughter to persevere, no matter what. After all, the only thing at stake that day was a judge’s score. What was at stake in the mind of Audra was her ability to lead a normal life and enjoy everything that most take for granted.

Audra loved school, friends, and her family.

In school, she always tried to do her best. Her grades were very important to her. Her family was very special to her. Her mother recalls never having to ground her for breaking curfew, or take her cell phone away for using too many minutes. No one recalls any ‘big fight’ between her and her siblings. As her mother reflects, she’s not sure if it was a matter of her siblings acquiescing to Audra, or whether Audra just never really found anything to fight about. Her mother will grant that Audra was not perfect; the reality is that Audra simply did not want to cause any trouble. She simply was too busy trying to enjoy life.

Audra’s love of life was unsurpassed by any.

At 15, she developed a ‘bump’ on her tongue, and she was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma. This would be the start of another battle. Surgery ensued, and doctor’s indicated she would not be able to talk or eat very well again. Obviously, the doctors didn’t know Audra well enough to make that type of assertion. Shortly after surgery, to the amazement of the doctors, she was talking in the recovery room, and within 2 weeks, she was eating food. Her mother and her family had seen this determination before. For 8 months, Audra went along fairly well with recovery and life. Then, cancer moved to her lung. Surgery to remove half her right lung followed, and one week later, she headed off to Camp Hope for a week.

She’s gone to Camp Hope since she was seven years old, and made many friends along the way. She’s also witnessed friends succumb in their battle against cancer. Every Wednesday night at the camp, they’d show a video of, and honor those that had passed. She did not like Wednesday nights at the camp. She did not like seeing friends, whom she probably consoled, now a memory. We suspect that during intimate talks with her friends, she did most of the consoling. We suspect that she wasn’t ready to accept the fact that one day she may be a part of that video. She had too much life to live, too many friends to make, and too little time to do it.

Audra was a hero to some, an inspiration to many, and a friend to whomever she came into contact with.

In October, 2006, her Grandpa unexpectedly passed away, and she was devastated. She had lost her best friend, who was there through all the good times and bad. At that time though, the tumors growing inside her liver stopped, and some even went away. Audra began a period of recovery. Things were starting to look up, and she was enjoying high school and all it had to offer. She especially enjoyed being a part of the Goddard High School Color Guard.

Most of all, she didn’t want to let her friends in Color Guard down.

Audra was a proud member of the Color Guard. She would try to make the practices and performances and remain an active and integral part of the experience no matter how much she hurt. Even though the flag probably weighed more than she did, she made no excuses for herself, never complained, and always held herself to a high standard of achievement. Audra would actually ask if it was OK to sit on the sidelines of a Color Guard rehearsal after coming directly from chemotherapy treatment.

Audra’s actions, in the face of adversity, indirectly mentored us by being an example of what is good, sincere, and authentic. It was priceless.

In November, 2007, the cancer was not responding to treatment, her body was growing weaker, but her mind was not about to give up. She brought home a 4.0 GPA on her last report card.

In February, 2008, treatment was stopped. For the first time in 15 years, she cried for herself and asked the question ‘why me’? She always tried to do the right thing. She dreamed of having a healthy body. She dreamed of going to the prom. She dreamed of dances, and graduating from high school. For the first time in her life, her family saw, in her beautiful eyes, resignation to fate and the acceptance that she would lose this battle. However, when those at this stage give up all interest or semblance of maintaining day to day responsibilities of life, she worried about turning in her homework on time.

Her legacy, one of relentless love of life and fierce determination, is strong.

She lost her battle 3 days before her 18th birthday. Her family was there and they surrounded her with love when it mattered most. In these times, we will have more questions than answers. However, we know what Audra meant to people, and know she influenced us to be better human beings.

Audra would give us a big smile right now if we kidded her about never wanting to do car washes as fundraisers for the Color Guard! She would do anything to have no part in them! So, when Audra’s parents and 7 immediate family members came to the school to personally donate money from Audra’s Memorial Fund to the Color Guard, we were honored to spend time with those who shared the same generosity of heart and kindness of spirit.

She gave us life lessons we weren’t ready for, with grace and dignity you can’t duplicate, and somehow helped us cope with our vulnerabilities, when it should have been the other way around.

Audra, we love you, and know you are ‘dancing with the angels’.